I’m Getting Sad (08/08/2018)

I’m getting sad…

I’m getting sad about the end of my study abroad experience, it has forever changed my life and I don’t know if I am ready for it to end. This year I have learned so much, made lifelong friends and also have added a whole new way of thinking by learning a new language. I have made a second home in Europe, and it is just hard to leave everything here.
As I am slowly preparing myself for the goodbyes, I realize how much time I actually have here in Europe (just a little under two weeks) and I start to panic. I don’t want to go home, I really like my life out here and not really wanting to go through another culture shock again. It really hasn’t sinked in that I am actually gonna be leaving here very soon until now, maybe it’s just an idea I’ve tried to avoid or maybe I don’t like the truth as much as it is real.
I can see myself making a life out here in Germany for the long term, I can support myself so much easier here compared to California and get a good education for much less than in the USA. I also like the idea of not having to use English all the time, I like to challenge myself with a foreign language and therefore prefer to speak in German over English now. Staying here seems like the most ideal result for me, and I will do my best to make this a reality.
Earlier this week I visited Tübingen and Karlsruhe to say goodbye to many friends who I wouldn’t see for a while (and maybe even forever). The idea of me not seeing some of my friends again did not hit me until I was on my back to Ulm from Karlsruhe, and then realizing it is gonna be my turn very soon. I don’t want to go home and I don’t leave my life here.
I am feeling sad…..
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